As I am sitting here in front of my computer at 3 in the morning (one of the great joys of being pregnant!!!) I can 't help but think of all of the things going on in my life at the moment... It seems like here lately I've been more focused on all of the negative going on instead of focusing of what really matters-my Blessings. If a person only focuses on all of the negativites around them, then that is all that they are going to see, and they will miss out on so much in life...
One example of this is the fact that I am complaining about being up at 3 in the morning from pregnancy-induced insomnia... I really should be enjoying the fact that I am able to even have this issue, I know several people right now who have been trying for years to get pregnant and haven't succeeded so far... It also gives me some rare alone time when I can sit on the computer and type this out, and pay the bills once I am done. (It's a dirty job, but it needs to be done!!)
Plus, this means as early as 8 weeks from now and definitely in 11, I could be the mom of a daughter and a son!
I do believe that my reflective mood that I've had this week is definitely not by coincidence. This is the week that we got pregnant a year ago that we lost in November... I was lying in bed thinking about how I was already pregnant this time last year, and how we should have had a three month old by now. I have been down this road more than once, and Randy knew the drill. He told Katie to hug me and tell me she loves me, and she did. Sometimes, she says it just because we tell her to, but she really means it sometimes, and it is so sweet when she does. She asked me if I was crying, and I told her that yes, I was. She then looked at me right in the face very seriously, and asked me "Are grasshoppers getting you?" And I couldn't help but forget about my sadness for the moment and give her a big old hug and laugh. You see, she is terrified of grasshoppers for some reason, and she has had several nightmares before where they are getting her.
It was then that I had my revelation that although I've had great sorrow in the last year, I've had so many other blessings in my life that overshadow all of my problems. I have a WONDERFUL husband who has put up with so much from me in the last 5 years of marriage, I personally don't know another man who would have. I have a BEAUTIFUL daugther who is my world and means everything to me even though sometimes I am ready to string her up. I have a son who is almost here, and even though he's not here yet I am already in love with him, and know that will share being everything to me with Katie... I have food on the table and a roof over my head, and my bills are being paid (even if sometimes a few days late!!)
I have so much more than so many other people in the world, and all I've done lately it seems is to wallow in my troubles and I don't remember the things that really count. So, starting right now, I am making a point to focus more on the positive and a LOT less on the negative...
Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles. ~Maltbie D. Babcock (whomever that is! LOL)
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